So you’re an Arsenal fan…
(laughs) Yes… I am
Realistically where do you see Arsenal ending up this season. Realistically.
(thinks a minute) Third. At best. In the league.
And Europe?
Semis
Do you blame Wenger?
No. He’s just unlucky with injuries. And Adebayor was pathetic last season.
Did you start supporting Arsenal during your days in London?
My uncle who lives in London was a huge fan. He had season tickets. He was a big influence.
What was that like, living in London?
Rough. I was there as a student. It’s a very expensive place to live in on student allowances. I worked at different places while I was there…TX Max…
What’s that?
It’s a supermarket chain, like Tesco’s… Yeah so I worked at TX Max and then for a bit I had a telemarketing job selling double-glazed windows by cold-calling people…
Were you good at it?
No. I sucked. Ha ha… they said I wasn’t aggressive enough… I found that a bit weird… pushing double-glazed windows down people’s throats…
What’s on your iPod?
A lot of electronica. Hip-hop. Phoenix. Yuksek. Lot of mainstream stuff too. From Madonna to Massive Attack. I don’t know if I can be slotted into a particular genre now. Maybe 6 years back if you’d ask me, I’d say ‘Hip Hop’. I was big into it. Snoop. Dr Dre. But now it’s all fucking crap. I’m sick of complaining about it.
Imagine you’re on death row and you had to listen to one song before they fry you, what would it be?
Motorcycle Drive-By by Third Eye Blind
Do you think Axe deo actually helps nerdy guys pull chicks?
No
But presumeably there are people who do, else they wouldn’t be doing that shit right?
I guess maybe nerds… any sane person knows it’s just a joke. People are by and large cynical about advertising.
What’s the coolest ad you ever saw? Something that actually made you go out and buy whatever they were selling?
Benetton.
Did you ever have a pet?
I had a cat for 3 days once.
Did you name it?
No… not really. I’m not a pets person. Don’t think I will ever own one.
What was your childhood ambition?
Pilot.
Fondest memory
Once when I was in my first year of college, my Dad went abroad and got me this game Grand Prix 2. It sounds pretty dumb now but at the time it was the one thing I wanted the most in the whole wide world. I can’t image a fonder moment.
What’s your retreat/ happy place?
Goa, I guess.
Do you remember your dreams?
Yes. I have this recurring dream that I’m in plane…it’s actually a series of dreams… sometimes I’m flying it… sometimes I’m on the beach when it crash lands next to me…
What was your first paying job?
During the IT boom, I started with this job as a content writer for a website meant for kids. It had an online diary, trivia and shit like that.
What was it called, this website?
(deeply embarassed) www.funworkz.com
Indulgence
Trainers, books… ice cream.
Last purchase
KFC Zinger Meal
Favourite movie
Fight Club
Favourite comic book character
Tintin
The next big thing
Anti-design. As reflected by magazines like Zero 32C, Super Super. It’s a backlash to modernism. The new Diesel work is already in that space. It’s like an acid trip from the 70’s.
So do you like the London Olympics logo then?
I have mixed feelings. But I like the moving version.
The Lisa Simpson blowjob version?
What’s that?
I’ll send you a link.
Yeah, but the London Olympics logo is a good example of anti-design.
What do you think of the design scene in India?
India’s still very hung up on romanticism. I think it will evolve to the point when ugly becomes the new clean.
If someone made you king for a day, what would you do?
Free cookies for everyone.
What is your favorite thing to do on your day off from work?
Can’t print it.
Who and what are some of your influences?
Benetton. CR Magazine. Japan. French movies. Peter Hugo. Sneaker culture.
What did you have for breakfast?
Coffee.
Do you google your name often?
No. There are probably a million Mohammed Rizwans out there.
That’s true. Tell us about a friend you miss.
Shweta, my girlfriend.
Thanks for your time.
Mohammed Rizwan is a writer who recently joined us.